Ran Leonard ([info]aa) wrote,
2003-12-20 01:12:00
  • Mood: sad
  • Music: Blue feat. Elton John - Sorry seems to be the hardest word (3:41)

End of a period

The only love I ever felt to someone is finished. Isn't finished, but must be finished.
Tonight I got into some really big decision and a turn in my life. Maybe it's not really big but emontionally it is. It's about Natasha..
I talked with her today about everything.. I told her how much I love her, and she doesn't love me the way I love her. I can't be in touch with someone I really love without having her. It would only hurt me more. It's hard, but I don't think we're gonna talk in a long long time now, if not forever.

Today, since a long time, I cried. Actually, I'm crying while I'm typing this entry.

Good night.

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  • 18 comments

[info]wingflutter

December 19 2003, 15:21:16 UTC 8 years ago

aww sweetheart, im so sorry you have to go thru this. its never easy. but you made a good decision. contact must stop. itll help you heal and move on. all for the best. take care xxx

[info]aa

December 19 2003, 15:33:14 UTC 8 years ago

thanks sweetie. Lessions on yourself is the best way to learn things.

[info]eresh_cloudy

December 19 2003, 15:56:02 UTC 8 years ago

:-(
sorry to hear this
these things are always hard
strength to you

[info]swerve

December 19 2003, 16:58:35 UTC 8 years ago

ouch

I'm sorry. That's one of the worst feelings in the world.

I hope something makes you smile soon.

[info]aa

December 20 2003, 02:12:44 UTC 8 years ago

Re: ouch

thanks.. I hope it won't fuck up my concentration in the course in the army.

[info]wildernesscat

December 19 2003, 21:51:48 UTC 8 years ago

רן, אתה אדם אמיץ. אני לא בטוח שכל אחד היה מגיע להחלטה הזאת, גם אם זה הדבר הנכון ביותר (לדעתי) לעשות. תחזיק חזק!

אני עשיתי החלטה דומה לפני כמה שנים, כאשר חברתי דאז עשתה לי אולטימטום לגבי תאריך לחתונה...

[info]aa

December 20 2003, 02:16:56 UTC 8 years ago

תודה. אני עדין לא מעכל את מה שעשיתי. לא עשיתי את זה מפזיזות, חשבתי על זה המון לפני, אבל זה עדין קשה לי להבין שאני לא אדבר איתה יותר. אני אוהב אותה, אני חולה עליה, אף פעם לא אהבתי מישהי ככה.

[info]wildernesscat

December 20 2003, 02:44:45 UTC 8 years ago

!הולכת להיות לך תקופה קשה, אבל אתה תתגבר. אני מחזיק לך אצבעות

[info]aa

January 7 2005, 09:28:31 UTC 7 years ago

מצחיק אותי לקרוא את זה.
ההרגשה עם חן היתה הרבה הרבה יותר חזקה ועמוקה מאשר עם נטשה.
ממש מצחיק לקרוא איך הרגשתי אז, כשזה לא התקרב להרגשה לגבי הפרידה עם חן.

[info]tiger_gurl

December 19 2003, 23:46:46 UTC 8 years ago

*Hugs*

[info]shoogle

December 20 2003, 00:15:18 UTC 8 years ago

I am in the same exact place right now, my friend. It's the worst feeling in the world, when your heart is broken like that. But in time you will heal and move on, just give yourself time to do so. Don't deny your sadness and pain... Experience it to the full, learn from it, and it will make you a stronger person in the end. :) That's the best advice I can give...

[info]aa

December 20 2003, 02:18:48 UTC 8 years ago

That's what I think too. I believe that if we learn on ourselves, we learn much better. Yes, it's hard, but in the end it'll be better for us.

[info]dday

December 20 2003, 02:37:48 UTC 8 years ago

u did the right thing Jango, u will see that later on

[info]nouna

December 20 2003, 03:18:42 UTC 8 years ago

I really hope u get over this situation, Ran.
Its a hard thing 2 get over, hopefully u`ll manage..
Tc <333

[info]voidofher

December 20 2003, 09:07:56 UTC 8 years ago

I know how hard that is. its not easy to know the person you love the most doesnt love you back, and its even harder to let go of that person.
i'm proud of you for making a decision and doing the right thing. i wish i could do the same with a certain person... but i'm just not strong enough to let go :\

hope you'll feel better soon ♥

[info]nesheekah

December 23 2003, 03:53:06 UTC 8 years ago

You don't know me... just wandered in here looking for Hebrew-speakers on LJ, but hey, I'm sorry about your situation. It's hard... :(

[info]raynbo111

December 23 2003, 05:23:18 UTC 8 years ago

oh mami please don't cry. it hurts my life to know you are so upset all the way over there. you are brave for one, to let her know how you felt. you are also brave in admiting that it would be unrealistic not to be hurt and tortured by spending time with someone you have feelings for that doesn't feel those feelings back.

i love you mami...i miss you and wish everything comes out okay in the end.

Anonymous

December 23 2003, 18:41:09 UTC 8 years ago

ah, you should have played some bob marley when you told her. you should listen to bob marley now in fact.
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